Elderwerks Senior Resource Directory 2025/2026

DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR BY A LOVED ONE – STEPS TO HELP

Over-Spending or Extreme Budgeting Whether your loved one is spending too much, or is excessively stingy, your loved one’s money troubles can be exhausting. The ability to handle one’s own money is a sign of power and independence. Spending too much or too little money are both ways in which your loved one can exert power and feel powerful. It may be necessary to sit down and gently discuss the issue and your concerns. Do not demand that they turn over their money or bills to you. That would completely strip them of their financial independence and would not be in their best interests or in yours. The most common behaviors are listed above. If caregiving becomes too much, you need to get help. Caregivers often experience burnout. Burnout can lead to illness, the inability to assist your loved one, abuse and ruin relationships. Family support is crucial. If you don’t have family or family support, hire professionals. Caregivers, adult day centers and senior communities offer respite so you can have some personal time. There will come a time when you will need to think about long-term care options. Remember – you are not alone. There are thousands who have gone through what you are going through. There is no shame in asking for help.

Hoarding Hoarding is a common problem that affects many people. If hoarding is a new behavior for your loved one, it may be a sign of the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease or dementia. Hoarding allows people to hold onto physical manifestations of their memories. If your loved one begins to hoard, try to coax them into donating some of their lowest priority items to charity. Create a memory box to hold their most prized possessions or a collage of photos of the items they donated to families in need. If your loved one continues to hoard, you will need to seek professional help. You may need to get a counselor or psychologist involved – someone who specializes in obsessive compulsive disorders. The state of Illinois created the Elder Abuse and Neglect Act. This Act makes it illegal to hoard. It allows the Department on Aging to provide services for persons age 60 or older and includes the following services for eligible adults who have been removed from their residences for the purpose of cleanup or repairs: temporary housing; counseling; and caseworker services to try to ensure that the conditions necessitating the removal do not reoccur.

Paranoia and Hallucinations Paranoia and hallucinations take many forms. Your loved one may accuse someone of stealing, believe that someone is out to get them or see people who are no longer alive. They may become overly frightened and become agitated. Document each experience with the date, time of day, length of time the situation lasted and what was experienced by your loved one. Talk with their doctor about these episodes. They may be signs of larger health issue or the side effect of medication or the interaction of multiple medications. If Alzheimer’s disease or dementia was already diagnosed, then these paranoid episodes or hallucinations may continue on a regular basis. If this is the case, try to keep a calm mind and understand it is part of the disease. Validation is a good coping mechanism and may help them calm down and relax as they work through the delusion. Strange Obsessions Worrying about nonsensical things, picking at their skin or clothes, saving things that should be thrown away, or any other type of obsessive behavior can disrupt the daily life of your loved one. If your loved one has an addictive personality, or suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder, then their issues may be manifesting into strange obsessive behavior as they age. These obsessive behaviors are not of their own fault but are symptoms of a larger issue. Start tracking these obsessions. Often there are triggers to cause these behaviors. Figure out the triggers and then you will be able to avoid the situations in which the triggers appear. Do not participate in their obsessions. If you can find a way to change their obsessive rituals or routines, then do so.

HELPFUL INFORMATION

“ Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. ” John Lennon

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